What Richard Sherman, a Bachelor Party and Absurdly Expensive Las Vegas Pool Party Taught Me About B
This past weekend I went to Las Vegas for my bachelor party. Monday morning I blew dried blood from my nose. The upper, neck area of my spine hurts. It’s sore and tender to the touch. I think this means I had a good time.
The flagship event for the weekend was our attendance to a Las Vegas pool party. My friends love me so much, they felt it was worth paying an absurd amount of money to secure a “cabana” space for the duration of the party along with bottle service, private seating and reliable cover from the Las Vegas sun.
Groomsman One went down to the pool party early to secure the cabana. Groomsman Two soon followed. All was well until myself and the Best Man began getting text messages from Groomsman One that our purchase of the cabana was in jeopardy. The venue needed a card to hold the absurd amount on. Sadly, Groomsman One and Groomsman Two each had their cards declined. It seems the purchase was too large and having not spoken to their bank about a huge purchase in advanced, it was flagged. Using their cards was no longer an option… It was all on the Best Man.
The Best Man handed over his card and the bikinied server woman went off to see if the he had sufficient funds for the pleasure of partying in the cabana… We waited… And waited. Tension was building. Off to the right of our space was NFL All-Star Cornerback and Seattle Seahawk, “You gotta hydrate!” Richard Sherman. This was the second day in a row we’d seen Mr. Sherman at this particular pool party. When I walked into the cabana, Mr. Sherman looked me straight in the eyes (through his Star Trek sunglasses). We surmise Mr. Sherman was interested in taking our cabana space if our third attempt at payment did not work.
The bikinied woman swiping the Best Man’s card was gone for at least 20 minutes. There was an unexplainable amount of tension and anxiety in the cabana. It was as if a war was coming to an end but only if the two countries involved could agree to the terms of the war's end inside a conference room with no air conditioning... Or maybe more like your significant other walking in on you as you were in the act of cheating and instead of screaming and yelling, decides to stand there, starring at you and your mistress, with a ten-inch kitchen knife in hand repeatedly whispering, "It didn't have to end this way..."
The bottom portion of my heart was experiencing sharp pain. I'm positive I had a small heart attack. Somehow, I had the presence of mind to document the moment because it was so unique. Look at our faces…
The woman finally returned with the Best Man's card and a receipt for him to sign. His card had been approved for the absurd amount only a professional athlete like Richard Sherman could be casual about. It was strange to be among music, good looking people who clearly spent months working out and avoiding carbs in preparation for this pool party and to feel as emotionally dishelved as I did. I actually cried for a moment soon after the ordeal had ended. Actual tears ran down my face. I think it was a drunken release of the pent up energy and my realization that the guys who joined me in Las Vegas really had gone above and beyond to make my "last ride" a good one.
In most cases when you or a group are making a large purchase, the question always turns to whether or not the purchase is truly a smart one. We know purchasing a space inside a party where the price of liquor bottles have been marked up by 400 percent is not an advisable decision for any normal person with even the most modest life goals.
What we hadn't considered once we accepted the call for paying the absurd amount for a pool party cabana was HOW we would pay.
Did Groomsman One and Groomsman Two forgo telling their bank or credit card companies they'd be in Las Vegas? Were the initial, declined card swipes something that could have been avoided? Does your bank or credit card company require some kind of verbal authorization before making large, absurd purchases like cabanas at Las Vegas pool parties?
The primary concern was always whether or not all the guys who attended could afford to contribute to pay their portion for the cabana. We never considered our actual method of payment and whether or not it would be approved, especially considering the amount.
For this lesson, I thank each and every one of my incredible brothers who joined me in Las Vegas and of course Richard Sherman.